


The End of Innocence

by EarthCallingAlice



Series: Catching the Sunrise Series [26]
Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Bigotry & Prejudice, Bisexual Male Character, Coming Out, Coming of Age, First Time, Hand Jobs, Homophobia, M/M, Memories, Mutant Politics, Open Relationships, Oral Sex, Sexual Identity, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-03-08 23:56:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3228317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EarthCallingAlice/pseuds/EarthCallingAlice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a confrontation with a mutant hater, Kurt looks back on a painful memory from his youth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The End of Innocence

**Author's Note:**

> This story expands upon something that was briefly mentioned in my first fic in this series, "Catching the Sunrise."
> 
> Originally published on October 20, 2010
> 
> Kurt and Logan belong to Marvel/Disney. Marc belongs to me.

^^^

“Hello, Marc.” Kurt looked down and blushed slightly and played with his fingers. The young devilish looking mutant found himself becoming more and more attracted to the trapeze artist each day. He was pretty new and just arrived a little over a few months ago from Spain. He had golden brown hair to compliment his golden brown skin and hazel green eyes. His lithe form looked elegant when in performance.

He knew he was attracted to both sexes a while now. It was a difficult realization at first, but he figured it even less amazing than his appearance. Since god decided he were to be an outcast in that, it wouldn’t make sense to worry over this new revelation. People would judge him for his appearance before he had a chance to mutter he liked gentleman too. 

“Hello, Kurt.” The slightly older man winked.

The young German smiled inwardly. It was these gestures that made him wonder if he knew of his affections, and perhaps if he too felt the same way. Kurt was sitting out today because he hurt his back and was still recovering. He wasn’t allowed to do anything overly strenuous. Marc, helpfully, jumped in to take over. 

“ I want to thank you for your timely rescue.” Kurt smiled playfully. 

“No problem my dear man, the show must go on as they say.” The Spanish man replied as he began to stretch his legs and arms at this. 

Kurt swallowed and tried not to stare, but it was difficult. He brushed it off “Yes. Show these people that no one else does entertainment like the ‘Szardos Circus.’ ”

Fruer, the stocky, bald fire-breather came in and called to the Spaniard. “Herr Herrera, you’re up!” 

Marc remembered what Kurt said and bowed. “I’ll try my best, blue one.” And with that he was off. 

Kurt sighed as he watched him meet Jimaine out in the ring before they both climbed up their respective posts. There was another one he was heavily attracted to, but she never seemed to show much interest outside of platonic love. Kurt felt like spitting as he rested his chin on his hand and lightly kicked at the dirt. _Ach! Why does love have to be so complicated?_

As he heard the crowd cry out in awe, he looked up to see Marc and Jimaine meeting in the air, and twisting their bodies in a wild dance. He felt himself become a bit jealous. But of whom he could not tell.

“Wagner, don’t be silly.” He whispered to himself. 

About forty minutes had passed before the show finally ended. He couldn’t believe it. He felt like the show just started. But he was so caught up in his current predicament he wasn’t paying much attention. He was a bit disappointed because he liked watching Marc in motion.

^^^

Kurt waited for Marc near his trailer to congratulate him and thank him once again. The new trapeze artist was seen walking towards him and waving his hand, when they were a few feet apart he said. “Marc, that was a great performance. You’ll give me a run for my money in no time.”

His face lit up. “Really? What part did you like the best?”

Kurt flushed in embarrassment at this, he felt a tad guilty for this white lie, he did not pay attention to the whole act after all, “Um, all of it.”

Marc chuckled at this. “Gracias, my friend.” 

Kurt looked down and shuffled his feet. “So…”

Marc echoed Kurt and smiled, “So.”

Kurt was struggling for something to say. Marc looked over at him and Kurt blinked his wide yellow eyes. The man had a habit of putting him off guard with even only the slightest of attention.

Thankfully the other man decided to speak up. “Would you like to come in?"

Kurt smiled brightly, “All right.” 

They both entered the trailer and Kurt sat down on the small sofa as Marc took off his shirt and toweled himself off. He looked over at Kurt and smiled and said, “Would you like a beer?”

Kurt flushed, “Oh, ja. That would be great.”

The other man reached into a mini fridge and pulled out two beers. He handed one to the fuzzy mutant. “There you go.”

“Danke.”

Kurt looked at the walls and saw several posters of the ‘Beatles.’ “A Beatles fan, ja? Me too.”

Marc snorted. “It is that obvious? But, isn't everyone?”

“Actually, I know of a couple.”

The brunette chided jokingly and said. “Bring them in here. We’ll show them.”

Kurt laughed as Marc decided to set up his record player and play the discussed Beatles. Kurt watched as he closed his eyes when the soft melody of “Hey Jude” filled the room.

“Mmm… I love this song.” Kurt said wistfully. 

“Yes, it’s nice to find someone with a decent taste in music around here.” Marc agreed. 

“Same here.” 

Marc decided to sit down, and next to Kurt, the mutant thought in dismay, being this close to the other man caused him to shiver slightly. He had to look away from his bare chest. 

“Are you alright, Kurt?” Marc looked at him with concern.

“Of course.”

“That sister of yours is really nice.” Kurt tensed a bit at this and then relaxed. 

“Ja, she is, but she’s not my biological sister.”

The other laughed and said. “Really? But the resemblance...”

Kurt frowned slightly at this.

The tan skinned man was suddenly apologetic, “I’m sorry if I offended you. I did not mean to.”

Kurt smiled wanly. “That’s all right. But, you were quite thrown when we first met.”

“To be honest, Kurt. I was.” He hurried up to say. “But not in a bad way. I mean… that is to say, I don’t see many like you every day.”

Kurt smiled. “Fair enough. I could say the same about you.” The blue mutant stiffened. He hadn’t meant to say that. He looked away in fear. _Ach! Dunce! Brilliant, Wagner!_

“Kurt?”

He did not answer. There was no way he could salvage this now. He closed his eyes as if to will himself somewhere else. 

“Kurt? Look at me.” Kurt did not seem to notice the gentleness in his voice. 

He shook his head, after a moment he felt warm, smooth fingers grab his chin and say, “It’s all right. I had suspected you were attracted to me for a bit now..” 

“It does not bother you?” He said in disbelief. 

“No, why would it?” Marc shrugged. 

“Are you… ?"

“Gay? You've guessed right. Much to my parents dismay. Though they try to deny it.”

“But, my appearance...”

The older man smiled. “Kurt, you’re very attractive. You have this exotic beauty and grace to you. You're passionate about your art and you’re fun to be with.” 

Kurt continued to look at Marc in wonder. He was _attractive_ to _him_. It was too good to be true. Its as if he was handed the key to everything and all this past months stress was washed away with a few words. Could it be that easy?

Marc nudged his arm trying to help him out of his shock. "And you're a Beatles fan." He laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

Kurt chuckled and blushed at the compliment. He wasn’t used to it. “I’m sorry if I judged you. Not many outside my circus family are so accepting.”

Marc nodded in sympathy, “I can only imagine how difficult it must be. It’s hard enough being gay, let alone a gay mutant. My parents would have loved that.” He chuckled mirthlessly. 

Kurt was glad for the acceptance, “It has its moments. So... your parents disowned you?” Kurt frowned. 

"Not exactly. I left before they could. They are very old fashioned."

"I'm sorry." Kurt said in sympathy. 

"Don't be. It's the best thing I ever did for myself. Besides, it brought me here to this wonderful place. It brought me to you." 

"Marc, I..." Kurt swallowed. Kurt wondered if Marc was really as ok with everything as he let on and it was not just an act. Being rejected by your parents and leaving your home country cant be easy but Marc comes off as so casual about everything. He seemed so care-free and confident as if nothing in the world could keep him down and damn anyone who didn't accept him. 

“Kurt…” the brunette said softly, smiling, as he placed his hand on Kurt’s thigh. 

“I—“ Kurt did not have a chance to finish his sentence as the other man invaded his mouth with his tongue. “Mmmm…”

Kurt kissed back as if starved. They had kissed for several minutes, feeling each others bodies. Kurt purred as Marc reached under his shirt and stroked the fur on his chest. He gasped when he felt Marc unzip his pants. “Marc? What?” 

Marc smiled, “Relax, Encanto. This will feel good." He saw that Kurt was still unsure and asked, "Trust me?" 

Kurt looked serious and nodded his head. He swallowed. "Ja." 

Marc studied Kurt's cock in fascination but tried not to stare too long not wanting to make Kurt feel freakish. It was beautiful. Different but very human. Very much a man's. He felt Kurt squirm anxiously and made a fist around Kurt’s violet-blue cock and began to slide his hand along the organ. 

"Oh..." Kurt moaned as he felt limber fingers play him like a violin. He then felt warm lips on his neck and sighed as those clever hands continued to pleasure him. 

“That’s it. It feels good doesn’t it?” He murmured against his neck. 

“Oh, j-ja.” Kurt never felt so wonderful. It was so much more different when someone else was touching him there. Better. Infinitely better. He wanted more. 

Marc picked up the pace and Kurt thrust his hips upward in rhythm to his friend’s strokes.

“I’m… I’m going to-" Kurt exploded warm liquid over Marcs fist. Kurt was breathing heavily. He saw Marc begin to remove his shirt as well as grab a tube in the nightstand next to the sofa. After his shirt was discarded he then began to remove Kurt’s pants. Kurt just sat there dazed as if trying to register what was happening. The Spanish man smiled as he pushed him down onto the sofa and settled between his legs. Kurt moaned as he felt nips and kisses along his chest and abs and cried out when he felt his nipples pinched. Then the German mutant gasped as a felt slick fingers tease his entrance.

Kurt reached out and grabbed Marc’s hand and said, “Nein. Marc...”

“What?” Marc looked up with disappointment. "You don't want it?"

Kurt looked down in embarrassment. “I’ve… never done this before.”

Realization crossed the other mans face and he said, “Oh… I’m sorry, Kurt. I didn't mean to rush you. Its just... you are really turning me on.”

Kurt looked apologetic, eyes pleading for Marc to understand. “That's all right. I do wish to do this. Really I do. But I don’t think I can. Yet.”

The other man looked to the side and ran his fingers through his hair before he looked back and said, “It can hurt quite a bit the first time for some. We should probably work up to it. Perhaps we could do something else instead?” He smiled like the chesire cat as he grabbed Kurt’s hand and placed it on his erection. 

Kurt nodded and smiled when he saw what the golden-skinned man was implying. Kurt grabbed his cock. Marc had begun to lay back and let Kurt do his thing. “I’ve never done this before either.”

Marc smiled and said. “No ones perfect the first time. But I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

Kurt chuckled before wrapping his lips around the tip of his friends beige cock. “Mmmm…”

“Oh, yeah.” The brunette said in a husky voice. 

Kurt placed Marc’s penis further into his mouth and experimented a bit before he grabbed the base, causing his companion to squirm. 

“Don’t be afraid. You’re doing fine, Encanto.” Marc sighed. 

Kurt said cheekily “Afraid? Never!” The blue mutant was much more nervous than he pretended, but slowly as he began to gain confidence, he picked up the pace, sliding his hand up and down the member and swirling his tongue wildly, going with what felt right and paying attention to his lovers responses. Kurt looked up and saw bliss on his face and felt empowered by Marc's cries of pleasure and smiled wickedly. Soon Marc came with a loud groan in Kurt’s mouth. The blue mutant swallowed as much as he could. 

Kurt tried to catch his breath as he laid his head on his companion’s leg. He finally looked up, expectantly, “How did I do?” Kurt said sheepishly as he licked his lips. 

Marc reached down and tangled his fingers in Kurt’s curly hair and replied, “Not bad.”

Kurt raised his eyebrow and said, “Ha.” 

Marc laughed. “Oh no! I’ll make a beast of you ye—"

Suddenly, a woman burst through the trailer door. She was quite a bit older with dark brown hair and the same dark skin as Marc.

“Marc?!?”

They both jumped as the door swung open. “Mother! What?”

“What is this? We were worrying our hearts out to find you doing… this? And with… that?” There was a note of fear in her eyes. She’s heard of mutants but has never seen one as apparent as this one. 

“How did you find me?” He said with anger. 

“Never you mind. You’re father isn’t well. It will kill him to discover this. You ran away without a word.”

Marc looked at Kurt contritely. “Excuse us.”

Kurt blushed furiously when he covered himself in the throw that was on the sofa as Marc began to dress himself and go with his mother outside.

Once they left, Kurt too got dressed. When he was finished he couldn’t help but open the door a crack and listen.

^^^

“What you’re doing is wrong. It’s sinful. And with that demon-looking boy on top of it. Have you lost your mind?"

“Mother… I don’t agree with your beliefs! Can’t you understand that?” He said in frustration. "There is nothing wrong with me! I like me!" 

The older woman put her hand to her head and paced. “I can’t believe this. How could you do this? As I said, your poor father doesn’t have much longer. He wants you to take over the business.”

Marc blanched slightly at hearing about his fathers condition. As much as he loved who he was he loved his father too. “Oh, mother. This is what makes me happy.”

“Please, son. And it will not do for our reputation for you to be indulging in such proclivities with another man. And such a… freak of nature as well.” She spat in disgust. 

Kurt could hear everything and felt his heart sink at the woman's words. The hope he felt only moments ago was deteriorating quickly to the previous schooled indifference of an outsider who never felt he could truly belong. To always be on the outside looking in.

Marc instantly felt angry, he wanted to defend Kurt but his sense of loyalty to his father kept him from it. So, deflated, he went along with it. “I – he means nothing. I was just playing around. I just wanted to see what it was like with a mutant. You understand…” 

Kurt's stomach dropped to his feet and he felt a vile bitterness fill his throat. 

After several more minutes of discussion Marc finally entered the trailer, his posture was slumped and defeated. He hoped Kurt would forgive him for what he was about to do. “Kurt?” he looked around. “Kurt?” He was gone. A part of him was relieved as he was not looking forward to confronting the young German.

^^^

The next morning was awful for Kurt. Marc would not meet his eyes and was very cold with him. The previous joviality was gone. During lunchtime, Kurt cornered Marc and said. “Don’t you have anything to say to me?”

“Kurt? What do you want?” Marc said in surprise. The man was very tense but Kurt could see a great sadness in his eyes. 

“An explanation.” Kurt looked as if he couldn’t believe his ears. He couldn't believe Marc was pretending nothing had happened.

“I’m sorry, Kurt. It was just a bit of fun. Nothing more. No reason to get so upset.” He said quietly and nervously as he looked around, afraid someone might overhear them.

“Ah, that’s right. Sex with the freak, ja?” Kurt made a couple of fists, his face etched with pain as he swallowed. 

Marc's facade faltered and he looked regretful. “No Kurt. That’s not it. Please, you must understand-”

“Nein. That’s what I heard. It was your voice and perfectly clear.”

Marc looked down in shame at this. "Kurt..."

“I really believed you. I thought you accepted me. And to think my first time was with you. And to think I was going to let you go further—No…” Kurt shook his head. “I will not get upset because of the likes of you.”

With that Kurt stormed off. Marc watched him walk away with an ache in his heart. “I’m sorry, Kurt.”

^^^

Kurt stood out on the balcony of Xavier’s mansion and looked at the stars, the wind tugged at his curls. He sighed, he hadn’t thought of Marc in years. But when the X-Men had to stop an anti-mutant attack, the attacker called him a monster and figured out Kurt’s involvement with Logan. He made a comment about “Sex with the freak.” It hit too close to home for him. The man looked at him as less than an animal and could not comprehend the idea of him being intimate with someone. Or that he could be loved. Or love back.

Kurt suddenly felt two thick, muscular arms wrap around him and heard a smokey, rugged voice say, “Hey, you.”

Kurt smiled sadly. “Hello, Lieb.”

Logan could hear the sadness in his voice. He gently turned him around. 

“You still upset about that creep?”

“It just brought back some old memories, that’s all.” Kurt tried to avoid Logan's eyes but it seemed Logan would not be deterred so easily. 

“Oh…?” Logan raised an eyebrow as he removed his cigarette from his lips and tamped it out in the ashtray. He paid close attention to Kurt. 

Kurt swallowed a lump in his throat. "About a man... Marc.”

Logan looked surprised and a tad jealous but he quickly covered it up. Kurt smiled slightly and bemusedly at Logan's behavior though a part of him still wanted to cry. He did not realize he was still hurt over that incident. It was so long ago.

“The man in the circus I told you about. Remember?”

“Oh. Right.” Logan looked to the side and fidgeted in agitation. 

Kurt snickered, “Is this making you uncomfortable?”

“Nah. I didn’t expect to be the only one in your life. I’m not upset.”

“Gut. Because you shouldn’t be.” Kurt smiled, this time more sincerely. 

Logan put his hands in his pockets and feigned casualness. “...So, what did he look like?”

Kurt smirked mischievously, “Errol Flynn.”

Logan laughed. 

“I’m serious, but a bit darker.” 

"Oh." Logan almost frowned before he realized he was pretending not to be jealous. Kurt rubbed Logan's bicep, trying to sooth him. Kurt secretly felt touched but he wouldn't admit it. 

“Well, how about that," Logan said calmly, "Was he good?”

“Logan, I told you we did some things… but we didn’t get to 'go all the way' as they say.” Kurt said with amusement while trying to catch Logan’s eyes.

“So you’re saying, if things turned out differently with him, you might still be with him?”

“Who knows what would have happened. You may be with Jean right now if things were different." Kurt thought on this with some pain but then he pushed it aside wanting to concentrate on the now. He leaned in to give Logan a kiss. 

They pulled back and looked into each others eyes. Logan nodded. Kurt smiled in relief, and spoke again, stroking Logan’s stubbled cheek. “Besides, he cannot compete with you. What we have between us is much stronger. We did not know each other nearly as long, or had been through nearly as much together.”

Suddenly, Kurt felt himself being lifted up off the ground and he let out a yelp. “Logan?!?”

“I have a sudden urge to prove that theory."

Kurt did not protest in the slightest.

^^^


End file.
